Sobering Truth: NOBODY Knows What's Going to Work For You!

Before we get into this, I want to preface this post by saying that I'm writing this post from a place of love. I am part of several Facebook group pages specific to the events and wedding industry, creatives in general and a few for women entrepreneurs. Although I find that it can be a great place to vent, to ask questions about issues you may encounter as well as to receive feedback and encouragement, I also see people ask questions about what they group members think they should do to grow their business, what they should name their business, where they should advertise for their business... it goes on and on and on.

Maybe I'm old school because I don't think a business can be built by asking strangers online how YOU should build YOUR unique business. (I assume, you want your business to be unique, right?) Oh and in case you didn't know...those people you enjoy communicating with on Facebook and Twitter...you know, the ones you adore and have a great time socializing with but have never met face to face. Yep, they are strangers. You don't know these people! Don't get me wrong, there are some really genuine people out there. But there are also a whole bunch of people who will give you bad advice and tell you wrong things because they don't want to see you succeed. There are also a bunch of folks out there who take a guess at an answer and because they wax philosophical, it completely comes off as advice you should take.

You learn by failing and getting back up. You learn by attending educational conferences. You can even learn a great deal from mastermind groups and hiring an advisor or linking up with a mentor. But people, please for the love of God, PLEASE STOP ASKING FOR ADVICE ON WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR BUSINESS FROM PEEPS IN SOCIAL MEDIA! For that matter, stop asking your family and friends and colleagues too.  WHY?  Here is why...

NOBODY knows what's going to work for YOU. Emphasis on NOBODY and YOU.

NOBODY knows what's going to make you happy, successful, wealthy, free.
NOBODY is going to float your boat, rock your world, blow your socks off or free your mind.

NOBODY.

Not your $500 an hour advisor. Not your mentor. Not your mastermind groupies. Not your therapist. Not your BFF for like ever. Not your trainer. Not your psychic. Not your mom or your dad. Not your dog or cat. Not the ghost of your wise but dearly departed great-aunt Violet. And certainly not me.

NOBODY can tell you - with absolute, iron-clad, take it to the bank certainty - how to make your video go viral, how to guarantee that your marketing plan is a starry-eyed success, how to become the most popular wedding professional in your world, or how to get what you desperately want.

NOBODY can predict all of the variables. Determine the way the pendulum will swing. The flux of the market. The mysterious way your brain operates. The variability of your own vigor and commitment.

NOBODY knows how to make you more industrious, more productive, more focused, more efficient, more rarified, more more-ified,  more YOU-ified.

NOBODY knows what's going to work for you. Not really. Not completely. Not for all the king's ransom, the moon and stars or all the pearls in  the bottom of the ocean. NOBODY. Nope.

All anyone can do is tell you what worked {FOR THEM}, what's proven {FOR OTHERS}, and what's likely {FOR SOME}.

All anyone can do is hold you closer to your best ideas, and say, "If I were you, I'd do it like this."

All anyone can do is ask the inevitable questions that YOU still need to answer.

All anyone can do is bear witness while YOU crack the code, while YOU coax out YOUR brilliance, while YOU finesse out all of the pieces, and frolic into the success that YOU earned.

NOBODY knows what's going to work for you.

Unless, of course, you know someone with the name NOBODY. {In which case they are an awesome and spectacularly wise sage and a divine soothsayer and I'm going to need you to hook a sister up and introduce me to this wonder of wonders!}

In the meantime and in between time, we are all cheering, aching, and screaming for YOU TO FIGURE IT OUT!

And when you do...go ahead and tell us what worked... FOR YOU!

If you are looking for deeper ways to engage yourself and liberate YOUR inner awesome... ATTEND BACKSTAGE BRIDAL PRO ACADEMY. I mean, HELLO...it's only THE educational experience of the year for wedding pros such as yourself. What are you waiting for? Register today and BE THERE!

And if you want to share your thoughts, please do so below. However, I do ask that you refrain from telling me how crazy I am for thinking that you can't build your business by taking advice from strangers on social networks.

My Favorite MUST HAVE Travel Apps

{Photo Source}

A good Smartphone App can be a girl's BFF when traveling.  Thank goodness there are tons of apps to choose from but the number of apps available can be daunting. So I am sharing my favorite MUST HAVE travel apps because they have not only made traveling more affordable but they have also made my life so much easier when I am trying to navigate new and unusual territory. From booking a flight, to hailing a cab and more, these apps will make traveling to Backstage Bridal Pro Academy a breeze.

Before you travel you’ll need to download a decent weather app so you can plan ahead and pack accordingly. Accuweather is truly the most accurate and it can give you weather information up to 15-day local forecasts as well as 15 hours of hourly forecasts, forecast videos and can store up to 15 locations.
Cost: FREE
Download it for: Android, BlackBerry, iPhone/iPad.

Now that you know what to pack, let's book your flight. Kayak's website set the standard for streamlined searching, and its app delivers the same ease of use on the go. Simply enter your destination and travel dates, and the app spits back options sorted by price, time, or airline; a single click takes you to the corresponding booking site. 
COST: FREE
Download it for: Android, BlackBerry, iPhone/iPad.

Next up, let's check out where you'll be staying. I browsed many 5-star luxury resorts, but once we checked them out on TripAdvisor, we were suddenly aware that the resort website only puts their best foot forward. With thousands of user reviews on TripAdvisor, you get the real deal from the guests who have stayed there and their point of view. You can also review photos that guests have uploaded, and believe me when I tell you, they show you the good, bad and the ugly {stains on carpets, cracked tiles in the bathroom, etc.} Rave reviews and outstanding guest photos are why I chose Terranea Resort. It's an excellent app when booking hotels or searching for things to do. 

COST: FREE
Download it for: Android, BlackBerry, iPhone/iPad.

Moving right along, your flight and rental car are booked, you've reserved your accommodations and you are ready to go. This is where TripIt comes in handy. It acts as your personal travel organizer by joining together many travel confirmations into one main itinerary as well as providing you with other relevant information, like weather, events or maps.
COST: FREE
Download it for: Android, BlackBerry, iPhone/iPad.

We want you to enjoy your travels and to arrive here and back home safely and without incident. But let's be real, crap happens at the airport. Your flight is delayed, you miss your connection. Your stuck in the airport. Enter GateGuru. Featuring all of the major airports in the US as well as many in Canada and Europe. It lists the many amenities available in the airport, including shops, restaurants, and services and you can view them by terminal location, the nearest gate number, or even by their main area of focus. The GateGuru app is unique in that it helps you enjoy yourself during layovers and waiting periods in the airports. If you want to be sure to hit the best stores and restaurants in any airport, this is the app to help you achieve your goals. The app can tell you all you need to know, but it will also let you in on some insider tips from High Flyers who post comments and reviews about the restaurants, snack bars, book stores, and much more as well. 

COST: FREE
Download it for: Android, iPhone/iPad.

You've arrived! You're in your rental car and you're ready to go! But before you get to Backstage Bridal Pro Academy, you decide to take in some sights. Driving in Southern California provides much to see but navigating our gazillion freeways can be quite daunting. Google Maps App to the rescue! This app comes pre-installed on iPhone and iPad but is available for free for your smartphone. It is hands down the best GPS out there! You can get traffic view {uber important in SoCal}, walking navigation, public transportation navigation, street view, satellite, search for a Starbucks along the route...you name it!
COST: FREE
Download it for: Android, BlackBerry.

So you're driving around SoCal, taking in the sights and soaking up some sun when suddenly you look down and realize you need gas...and you need it NOW! There's no need to fear, GasBuddy app is here. Gas is pricey everywhere, but you can still take advantage of the best prices around you with GasBuddy. It can save you money and a headache!
COST: FREE
Download it for: Android, iPhone/iPad.

First of all, the name of this app is CRACKING ME UP! But besides it's comedic name, SitorSquat app is actually really useful. It may not save you money but it can save you a lot of embarrassment. Finding a restroom on the go, especially if you are in an unfamiliar place and want something 'decent', can be quite challenging! And if you get caught in any kind of crazy traffic congestion on SoCal, trust me you may find that you have to go.  There is nothing worse than being stuck on a clogged freeway and trying to figure out where to get off near a safe and well maintained restroom.  This app lists over 100,000 toilets around the world  and incorporates user reviews and even pics {although this might be a little T.M.I. if you know what I mean}. Still it's a must have and I am extremely glad someone created it!
COST: FREE
Download it for: Blackberry, iPhone/iPod Touch.

Say you are not renting a car or hiring a private sedan, you might consider taking a cab. But have you ever had trouble finding a taxi? Lord knows I have. Taxi Magic is an incredibly useful app that helps you find a taxi, book it with a few taps directly through the app {works in 30 cities. In other cities you book through click-and-call} and even track your cabs arrival! LOVE IT!
COST: FREE
Download it for: Android, BlackBerry, iPhone/iPad.


So there you have it! My MUST HAVE apps for traveling to Backstage Bridal Pro Academy. 

Backstage with Myiesha Antwine

Today we go Backstage with Myiesha Antwine, owner and principal planner of Kiss and Tell Weddings located in Ardmore, Oklahoma, just 20 minutes from the Texas border. Myiesha is an ambitious planner who has so much passion for succeeding in the wedding industry. Her energy is contagious. Just wait until you get to know her...

Hi Myiesha! We are so glad you took the time to chat with us today. If you don't mind, let's jump right in. Tell us a little something about how you entered the wedding industry.

I decided to enter the wedding industry because of the sheer joy that I experience from weddings. The soft music, the beautiful wedding party, the gorgeous Bride and that special look that the Groom shows when he sees his Bride for the first time! My first wedding was for my cousin when I was in college. She told me that I should plan her wedding because I "know how to remain calm, keep everyone focused, and I will make sure that everything is just right." And she was right! :)

I think the name of your company is so adorable. How did you choose it?

Kiss and Tell Weddings says exactly what I want you to do-Kiss your Groom and Tell everyone about your fabulous Wedding! The name is different and it piques your curiosity.

You know, that is so true. Every bride is excited to seal it with a kiss and relive the moments of their wedding afterward. Myiesha, what accomplishment are you most proud of? 

Booking my first wedding under my business name. It was scary at first but it turned out to be a huge success!

What are your greatest challenges or fears? 

Becoming average. I never want to get to the point where I am just 'going through the motions" meaning that the excitement and butterflies in my stomach goes away.  I want to give my all from my very first wedding to my last wedding.

Good point. It's so important to remain passionate and present for your clients and for yourself. Would you mind sharing your favorite wedding photo or item with us?

The picture 'Love at Last' is my favorite wedding picture because the couple is saying 'we did it! Today I really did marry my best friend'

I love the look in their eyes. Myiesha, I know you are relatively new in the industry but we'd love to hear the vision you have for Kiss and Tell Weddings in the next 5 years. 

In the next 5 years I see Kiss and Tell Weddings branching out into assorted events (parties, reunions, corporate events, dances, etc). I see my company expanding in services and education.

And of course, we have to close with the golden question...Why did you choose to attend Backstage Bridal Pro Academy? 

Honestly, when I officially opened Kiss and Tell Weddings I prayed to God that He show me the direction that I needed to go. I also prayed that He would lead me to other honest wedding professionals who would not mind teaching me the ropes. Professionals who would push me to succeed. I read about Backstage Bridal Pro Academy and it offered everything that I had been asking for. But what really sealed the deal was when I tweeted that I needed help with a wedding question and Lisa actually CALLED me and gave me tons of advice (and this was before the Academy was announced). She did not know me at all! She told me that she wanted me to be successful because she was once a new planner and someone had helped her. After I found out that she was a part of this great company, I knew that my prayers had been answered.

Lisa really does have a strong passion for seeing wedding pros succeed. This is exactly why we created Backstage Bridal Pro Academy. Regardless of the number of years you've been in business, there is no reason you can't SOAR, as Lisa always says. 

Thank you so much, Myiesha, for taking the time to chat with us today! We can't wait to meet you in September!

Have YOU registered for Backstage Bridal Pro Academy? If not, what are you waiting for? Payment plans are still available. Resister TODAY to reserve your seat!

You're NOT Just a Wedding Pro...You Are a {insert majorly cool title}

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One of the sublime pleasures of designing your own career is getting to CHOOSE your own job title.

Better still? Getting it printed on luxe, heavy-weight cardstock, in gorgeous letterpress for some tell the world ‘now I'm in business!’ cards. And you can rent a deluxe helicopter and scatter them across sleeping cities around the world.

It’s not littering . . . it’s marketing. I promise. {tee hee hee}

But what should you call yourself. Afterall, you work for yourself. You don't need to settle for BORING and TYPICAL titles, do you? NO YOU DON'T!  Therefore, I’m offering a plethora of super cool and downright funky stuff job titles, for your amusement, edification...and vocational pleasure.

See one you like? Snap it up and use it in all it's glory with my compliments.

You’re not a WEDDING PLANNER, you’re . . .

A New Life Journey Director

A Sublime Wedding Sidekick

The Archangel of Nuptials

A Unity Illuminatrix

The Mistress of WOW Moments

A Wedding Guidance Counselor

A Demagogue of Logistical Goodness

The Queen Mother of Implementation

A Reception Facilitator

A Bridal Party Wrangler

or simply a party thrower.

You’re not a INVITATION DESIGNER, you’re . . .

A Strategic Announcement Maker

A Romantic Scribe

A Bespoke Love Biographer

An Ink-Slinging Impresario

A Save-the-Date-ologist

A Poetess of Heartstrings

A Storyteller of the Soul

or simply a card maker.

You’re not an PHOTOGRAPHER, you’re . . .

The Sheriff Deputy of  Detail Capturing

A Freeze-frame Compatriot

A Candid Shot Comrade

A Photographic Machine

A Strike-a-Pose Powerhouse

A Lens and Film Geek

A Get Your Good Side Accomplice

A Right-Hand Photo Man

A Live Shot Lieutenant

or simply a picture taker.

You’re not a BLOGGER, you’re . . .

An Wordpress Virtuoso

A Digital Memoirist

A Cybernetic Scribbler

A Self-Reflexive Reporter

A Public Philosopher

A Eye Candy Curator

A Life-Streaming Savant

Or, you know . . . simply a writer.

If you are looking for deeper ways to engage yourself and liberate your inner awesome... ATTEND BACKSTAGE BRIDAL PRO ACADEMY. I mean, it's only THE educational experience of the year for wedding pros such as yourself. What are you waiting for? Register today and BE THERE!

Backstage with Jasmine Cianflone

Today we go Backstage with Jasmine Cianflone, owner and principal planner of This Moment Events in East Windsor, NJ...a little town about 15 minutes outside of Princeton. Jasmine is a wonderfully sweet lady who is making her mark in New Jersey servicing multi- and intercultural brides. She has incredible vision, drive and passion and I know you will absolutely love her just like we do.

Hi Jasmine, thank you for taking the time to chat with us today. We are so excited to hear all about you. So tell us, how long have you been in business?

TME opened its doors officially in July of 2010, so we're coming up on our 2 year anniversary.  It's been a great ride so far!

Why did you decide to enter the wedding industry? How did you get your start?

Weddings were an easy choice for me- I get choked up if I even drive past a wedding.  I just LOVE them and the possibility they represent.  I was that "typical" little girl who has always been obsessed with weddings, entertaining, and parties.  I used to make place cards for Thanksgiving dinner and insisted that everyone dress for the occasion, even though my family is the type that likes to stay in pj's and eat all day.  Some part of me has always wanted to be a wedding and event planner, although I didn't think of it as a viable career option until I discovered "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?"  Yes, I was inspired by a TV show!  I'd watch it, and make comments to my then boyfriend (Now husband) about what they could have done better, how I would have done things differently, and why I'd be so good at planning weddings.  One day he said "Then why don't you just do that?" And that fateful day in 2004, the idea for This Moment Events was born.  I had zero real experience so the idea and the dream sat while I worked a "real job" in corporate America as a software licensing specialist and salesperson for a business to business technology reseller.  All the while I was planning events for friends, co-workers, and even at work.  Eventually the pull became way too strong, and I started applying for internships. In 2008, I landed one with Curtain Up Events in NYC.  I loved every single second of it!! The hours, the pressure, witnessing the quiet moments between families... it was incredible!  The owner trusted me so much that I got to run two weddings for her while she was out on maternity leave.  I knocked them both out of the park (despite many a snafu) and I knew it was just time to get out there and do it for myself. I noticed a gap in the market in NJ - no planners were focusing specifically on multi- and intercultural couples and weddings, and being in one myself, I figured I'd fill that gap!

I love your vision and your ambition. How did you choose the name This Moment Events?

Honestly I tend to think it chose me.  I went back and forth about naming the business after myself, or naming it something like "Amazingly Gorgeous Special Days".. but a string of adjectives just didn't speak to me.  To me, weddings and milestone events are about the moments.  The stillness in the moment right before the chapel doors open for the bride to make her grand entrance.  The moment the nuptial couple's eyes meet across the aisle.  The moment they are pronounced married and become a family, really and truly... There are so many of those moments embedded within the day and the planning process itself and I consider it my mission in life to help people take stock of those moments- to stop and be present, because literally, this moment is all we really have.

It really and truly is about the moments in life. Speaking of special moments, what accomplishment are you most proud of?

I think honestly my greatest accomplishments are all the events that I've done.  In 2 years I haven't done hundreds, but each one has been unique, special and really enjoyed by the guests of honor.  And I am very proud to have played a part in that. 

Jasmine, will you share with us your greatest challenges or fears?

My greatest challenge in this business is remembering that it's not a competition.  I have a bit of a hard time staying focused on the goal of doing what's right for me and for TME and not losing sight of the goals I've laid out for the little empire I'm growing. I have to remind myself that the race is with me, not every other planner out there. My biggest fear is that I'll somehow fall short or not do someone's story justice.  It hasn't happened yet, but I'm constantly upping my game to make sure it never does.

Thank you so much for sharing that with such honesty. I know there are many others that can relate to this fear. Pushing past that fear and moving onto a little wedding eye candy, would you mind sharing with us your favorite wedding photos?

This photo is from my first paid wedding as This Moment Events, and my first full planning client - who just happened to be my sister! She was single for a long time but she met her match and got married for the first time at 47! Our incredible photographer, Kate Connolly of Kate Connolly Weddings put together this shot of the meaning of one of the Adrinka symbols that are featured on the couple's rings. Paired with the bout it just makes a great statement, and showcases a little of my modern, funky, multicultural style.   

That is absolutely beautiful. I love the meaning behind the symbol! So Jasmine, where do you see your company going in the next 5 years?

In the next 5 years I see myself running a highly successful planning & design firm, offering full event design services- I'd love to move more into a design role myself or hire a team to do this.  I'd love to have a staff of about 3-5 like minded people. I'd like to be maxing out our books at 20 events per year, staying really focused and boutique.  I'd like to have a storefront or office space that gives other pros a chance to meet clients, hold events, and generally indulge in all things wedding.  I also see myself branching out to pursue some of my other entrepreneurial goals. I'd like to launch my secondary venture of business coaching and branding services for micro- and mom-owned businesses.  

And last but not least, why did you choose to attend Backstage Bridal Pro Academy?

I chose to attend Backstage Bridal Pro Academy because I am all about continuing education.  I'm still pretty fresh to this whole business owner thing, and I'm always looking for ways to grow and improve my skill set.  There is always something new to learn, and the lineup for BBPro is second to none.  Industry leaders are packed in there.  And I know I'll get an incredible experience along with my education.  I'm also very excited for something NEW that isn't the same old convention- I know this will go deeper than planning 101, and I can't wait to get in there!

Thank you so much, Jasmine, for taking the time to chat with us today! We can't wait to meet you in September!

Have YOU registered for Backstage Bridal Pro Academy? If not, what are you waiting for? Payment plans are still available. Resister TODAY to reserve your seat!

Transitioning From Your Day Job to Your Wedding Business

Many of us dream of the day we can kiss our day jobs goodbye and work in our businesses full time. Our reasons vary from taking control of our lives and managing our own time to enjoying our work and even being more available to our families and friends.

Day jobs provide a few securities. They fund our businesses as we build them and they sometimes come with health benefits, paid vacation time and birthday cake in the board room. But they oftentimes don't fulfill us as creative, independent entrepreneurs.

Transitioning from "day jobs" can sometimes take years. Making the leap from "working for THE MAN" to living your dream can often seem impossible and daunting.

So how, exactly, do you make the transition? Certainly we don't just up and quit our day jobs without a plan. Today I will share three steps to help you make the switch from being a cog in the wheel to owning and operating the entire machine.

PLEASE NOTE: These three steps are not the only way to do it. There are certainly other methods to transition and a variety of variables to consider. But they will get your mind in the mode to take steps in the right direction.

Shall we proceed? YES! Let's...

1. FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR DAY JOB.
"WHAT!" you say. Mmm hmm, you heard me right. I share this with you based on personal experience. How you behave at your current job speaks volumes about how you approach your own business. Allow me to explain. Are you paying attention, because this is so important to keeping your energy high and remaining positive spirits when you get home at night. Your mood throughout the day will provide you the fuel for the evening, whether that fuel is pure clean oil or sludgy thick oil. I'm pretty sure you want to always be excited about your business and ready to dig in when you leave your day job. It's the pep in your step and the zig to your zag. You can't spend eight hours at work in a miserable, crummy funk and think you'll be fired up for your passion when you get home. So commit to love being there during the time you're there and remember it's simply a means to an end, not a permanent situation.

It's like Oprah says, "I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become."
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2. BUILD A FINANCIAL CUSHION.
I kind of feel like I shouldn't have to tell you this but I'll do it anyway because there are people who haven't given much thought to how they will pay for their lives and their business until things are really taking off. Next you will also need to take time to evaluate your approach to your business. Ask yourself and map out:

• What is your business model?
• What are you selling?
• Who are your ideal clients?
• What exact problems are you solving for them?

3. VALIDATE YOUR IDEA
This means telling talking to real people. I'm not talking about asking your Facebook friends or Tweeting your inquires. And I definitely don't mean asking your friends or family members. They are biased. If you do any of those things, you are not making the best decisions for your business. I need each ofnyounto go out and meet those that are your target market. Give them a chance to see your smiling face. Allow them to get to know the real you, see your passion and relate to you. Find out what frustrates them. Talk to them about the exact problems that you want to help them solve. Ask if they'd pay for your ideas. This helps you determine if you have a viable idea. After speaking to a bunch of people in your target market, you'll know whether your idea is on track. If it is, you can start making offers and launch your business.

There a many more methods that will help you transition for your day job to your dream career but these three will certainly kickstart your move.

Are YOU in the midst of transition? What challenges are you facing?

Have you made the leap to do your own thing? What specific strategies can you share that helped?

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Wedding Pros, come on out and join wedding professionals from all over the country this September at Backstage Bridal Pro Academy! REGISTER TODAY!