If you future were determined solely off the friends you have now, what do you think your future will look like?
If every job or potential client depended on the company you keep instead of your skills and experience, now would it turn out for you?
Now that I have your attention, are you at least thinking about it?
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The idea of being guilty by association has surrounded us for years. This led me to ask whether my own friendships were propelling me forward or keeping me at a stand still. I am very blessed to be surrounded by a circle of friends and a supportive husband who challenge me to push myself everyday. Sadly this hasn't always been the case for me. And neither is it the case for many others. Let's face it, not all of us have great support systems. There are many people who do not want to see others succeed or accomplish their dreams.
When I took a long hard look at my friendships, family members and associations, I realized I was holding onto bad or damaged relationships due to the fact that they were in my circle of influence. I held onto these superficial relationships because I thought I needed them but they were actually doing me more harm than good. I had to get alone and really do some honest evaluations before I realized I needed to purge myself of poor relationships.
SOCIAL CIRCLES IN SOCIAL MEDIA
I'm an avid user of Facebook and Twitter but there are times when I haven't enjoyed it much at all. Times when my friends or family members are posting things that make me shake my head furiously. Times when I've looked at my timeline to see people broadcast (in their passive aggressive way) about how they have negative people in their life, yet they a writing about and not actually deleting the person nor are they moving on.
Look, I admit... I have been guilty of this a time or two. I'm not talking about the occasional vent or rant. I'm talking about the constant barrage of complaints and high level drama that can stem from people talking on social media instead of taking it to the person directly. If you can think of a time when you wrote about removing a friend from your social circle but haven't acted on it, then I am speaking to you! Do you realize how valuable a resource that our time and energy are? If so, then you should be proactive in protecting these resources. You should be conservative on how, where and on whom your time and energy is spent. Celebrate your friends and colleagues and purge yourself of those that bring you down mentally, spiritually, physically and socially.
"Are these people adding value to my life?"
"Do I feel better or worse than I did before I spoke to them?
How many times have you spent time with someone only to feel completely drained afterward?
Or they're constantly putting you down even if it's in a subtle way?
Or you're part of an organization and you find you dread the night you have to go to their meetings because you don't want to deal with a certain person or situation?
So why do you keep hanging around and associating with these people even after we realize they're unhealthy for us?
SO WHAT DO I DO?
It's really time to think and reflect on who are the positive influences in your world. We should be intentional when selecting certain people to be in our lives.
My suggestion is that if you find yourself being loyal to people who are not loyal to you...it's time for a new circle. If every time you share your dream they kill it...it's time for a new circle. If you are the smartest person on your circle...it's time for a new circle. At the very least, you owe it to yourself to expand your circle.
You need to surround yourself with the thoughts and teachings of people who are smarter and wiser and more creative than you are. This will allow you to conjure up new and exciting dreams. By surrounding yourself with the most competent individuals you can is an act of supreme self-confidence as well as a sign of a healthy ego.
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