Before we get into this, I want to preface this post by saying that I'm writing this post from a place of love. I am part of several Facebook group pages specific to the events and wedding industry, creatives in general and a few for women entrepreneurs. Although I find that it can be a great place to vent, to ask questions about issues you may encounter as well as to receive feedback and encouragement, I also see people ask questions about what they group members think they should do to grow their business, what they should name their business, where they should advertise for their business... it goes on and on and on.
Maybe I'm old school because I don't think a business can be built by asking strangers online how YOU should build YOUR unique business. (I assume, you want your business to be unique, right?) Oh and in case you didn't know...those people you enjoy communicating with on Facebook and Twitter...you know, the ones you adore and have a great time socializing with but have never met face to face. Yep, they are strangers. You don't know these people! Don't get me wrong, there are some really genuine people out there. But there are also a whole bunch of people who will give you bad advice and tell you wrong things because they don't want to see you succeed. There are also a bunch of folks out there who take a guess at an answer and because they wax philosophical, it completely comes off as advice you should take.
You learn by failing and getting back up. You learn by attending educational conferences. You can even learn a great deal from mastermind groups and hiring an advisor or linking up with a mentor. But people, please for the love of God, PLEASE STOP ASKING FOR ADVICE ON WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR BUSINESS FROM PEEPS IN SOCIAL MEDIA! For that matter, stop asking your family and friends and colleagues too. WHY? Here is why...
NOBODY knows what's going to work for YOU. Emphasis on NOBODY and YOU.
NOBODY knows what's going to make you happy, successful, wealthy, free.
NOBODY is going to float your boat, rock your world, blow your socks off or free your mind.
NOBODY.
Not your $500 an hour advisor. Not your mentor. Not your mastermind groupies. Not your therapist. Not your BFF for like ever. Not your trainer. Not your psychic. Not your mom or your dad. Not your dog or cat. Not the ghost of your wise but dearly departed great-aunt Violet. And certainly not me.
NOBODY can tell you - with absolute, iron-clad, take it to the bank certainty - how to make your video go viral, how to guarantee that your marketing plan is a starry-eyed success, how to become the most popular wedding professional in your world, or how to get what you desperately want.
NOBODY can predict all of the variables. Determine the way the pendulum will swing. The flux of the market. The mysterious way your brain operates. The variability of your own vigor and commitment.
NOBODY knows how to make you more industrious, more productive, more focused, more efficient, more rarified, more more-ified, more YOU-ified.
NOBODY knows what's going to work for you. Not really. Not completely. Not for all the king's ransom, the moon and stars or all the pearls in the bottom of the ocean. NOBODY. Nope.
All anyone can do is tell you what worked {FOR THEM}, what's proven {FOR OTHERS}, and what's likely {FOR SOME}.
All anyone can do is hold you closer to your best ideas, and say, "If I were you, I'd do it like this."
All anyone can do is ask the inevitable questions that YOU still need to answer.
All anyone can do is bear witness while YOU crack the code, while YOU coax out YOUR brilliance, while YOU finesse out all of the pieces, and frolic into the success that YOU earned.
NOBODY knows what's going to work for you.
Unless, of course, you know someone with the name NOBODY. {In which case they are an awesome and spectacularly wise sage and a divine soothsayer and I'm going to need you to hook a sister up and introduce me to this wonder of wonders!}
In the meantime and in between time, we are all cheering, aching, and screaming for YOU TO FIGURE IT OUT!
And when you do...go ahead and tell us what worked... FOR YOU!
If you are looking for deeper ways to engage yourself and liberate YOUR inner awesome... ATTEND BACKSTAGE BRIDAL PRO ACADEMY. I mean, HELLO...it's only THE educational experience of the year for wedding pros such as yourself. What are you waiting for? Register today and BE THERE!
And if you want to share your thoughts, please do so below. However, I do ask that you refrain from telling me how crazy I am for thinking that you can't build your business by taking advice from strangers on social networks.
You get no complaints on this post from me. I enjoy meeting new people via social media, you know, some one to bounce ideas off of but ultimately, I am going to have to make all the decisions that pertain to my business. I have to choose marketing & advertising ideas that will work for me and my company. I will have to fall on my face sometimes and will have to have enough knowledge and know-how to pick myself back up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the post, and when you get introduced to the infamous "Nobody", please introduce them to me, but not via the social network.
I would seriously like to meet that person too.
DeleteLoved this needed this ,somehow I knew this thanks for reminding me
ReplyDeleteHappy that you gleaned something from this post. I find that I know things sometimes, and yet still need a little reminder every now and then.
DeleteLove this. When I first started my business, I asked several friends (some of whom happened to be in the wedding industry already) to look over my website and please let me know what they thought. Two opinions in particular stood out - one said I was charging way too much. The other, way too little. These opinions were both based on what worked for them and their businesses. I actually decided to stick with my original plan - at first - and then adjusted as needed (this was after I'd done a few weddings for friends, gratis). Now I have a pricing strategy that I think works great for me.
ReplyDeleteEvery single person is different. That means every one of our experiences, education, desires from our businesses... They're different. The best thing we can do is take advice that we're given for just that - advice - and move forward. What works for one might not work for the other, and that's ok.
That's why you can't really compare apples to apples when you're looking at two companies - their product might be totally identical (with weddings, I'd highly doubt it of course!), their process might be quite similar... But their motivation could be completely different. While I might be happy with a dozen weddings per year, another pro in my city does three weddings in one weekend from time to time. Does that mean either of us are wrong? Certainly not. We just want different things. Thanks for reminding us all, Tami! ;)
Such a good point, Elisa! I know that is so true...especially when it comes to price shopping competitors or thinking we need to mimic their drive or work style.
DeleteI agree/disagree...I love the interaction and discussions that I get from the different groups or my page and I've learned a few things. But most of what I post or ask in groups, I've already made a decision on and just looking to see how others doing it. I've learned to be confident and secure in my decisions for my business. And at the end of the day I know it's my final say. Just because someone has a few years under their belt, doesn't mean they can necessarily tell me what will work in my business just because they've been doing it for 10+ years. Unless it's something generic, like getting more education or something. Bottom line you learn by trying. Advice, suggestions, and tips are great, but don't rely on others to run your business.
ReplyDeleteThere is definitely an advantage to engaging with like-minded people in social media. I have also learned a thing or two from the sharing that goes on. But when it comes to a decision that will affect my company, it lies solely in my lap. I think you make a terrific point though, that I didn't point out....sometimes people have already made up their minds and are just looking to see what the general consensus might be. Perhaps it's a bit of validation on something we have already decided on.
DeleteI so agree with you Tami!
ReplyDeleteA LOT of businesses (wedding and non) think they can sit on their keyboard and be successful, it's a HUGE mistake.
Great blog post, and though I can't attend this year - I'm going to plan ahead for Backstage Bridal Pro Academy next year.
Lori, as I just stated in a reply above, there are some great things to take away from social media engagement. But what you said was part of what I intended to communicate. You can't expect to sit at home in front of the keyboard and think your business is going to reach levels of unprecedented proportions. And I see so many people doing this. I would love to see more people begin a business relationship connection on social media and take if offline to solidify and build upon it. Some of us do this, but there are also many who do not. I kinda miss the good old days before the computer was around when people had to shake hands and meet face to face to conduct business.
DeleteWhile I agree with some of what's brought up in this post, I don't agree with the extent to which it's taken eg. admonishing people to "PLEASE STOP ASKING FOR ADVICE ON WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR BUSINESS FROM PEEPS IN SOCIAL MEDIA!"
ReplyDeleteWhy stop asking? Asking other people for advice, opinions, comments etc. often creates useful dialogue - even if you don't take the advice of the people you're asking, it often can bring up a whole slew of things you may not have considered or even thought of. While I do think it's important (especially in this industry) that we stay true to ourselves and our business, and that we aren't swayed to do things that are "us" by all of the so-called "experts" out there, I also think that there can be very positive discussions that can happen on social media that benefit the person doing the asking.
I also think that while you need to make sure you stay true to your unique business proposition/brand etc., and you need to follow your gut, it's also a lot of pressure to put on yourself to handle every situation on your own. Surely you wouldn't tell people not to consider education opportunities (like Backstage Bridal!), so why would you tell them not to ask the advice of some of these same people via social media.
The important message of this post is more related to learning to filter the information, advice and suggestion you receive and use what's right for you - not to not ask at all.
Sarah, you make such a great point and I love that you provided me with this feedback. I you are right. There is a lot of benefit to asking advice from people on social media. Which I did state in the paragraph before. I suppose this statement contradicted the first, which was not my intention. My intention was to communicate the importance of really soul-searching and doing a great deal of self-reflection when making important business decisions and not relying on those without but looking within. This comment was thought provoking and gave me an opportunity to also consider how my words may come across. I want to be sure I am staying true to my intention. I care so much about wedding pros being all they can be and want to see people exceed their biggest dreams. With that being said, I will need to take more thoughtful consideration to the perception of my own words so as not to offend or sound admonishing. God knows I do not want people to feel attacked or belittled in any way.
DeleteThis is a great post and a great point- when you're a newbie, or even a not so newbie, it's easy to get distracted by the latest bright shiny object that's "GUARANTEED" to grow your business. Truth is that it doesn't exist- no matter how hard you look or where you hang out. I'm definitely guilty of sitting on Facebook waiting for someone to drop the bomb on me that would instantly make my biz blow up. Hasn't happened yet and I've been on social media for almost 5 years now. What has worked for me is staying focused on my goals and weeding out distractions. But everyone's mileage will vary!
ReplyDelete