Your Wedding Planning Business: Are You Wasting Time?

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Here we go again. You just wasted your time going to that stupid networking event and chatted with someone you will never speak to again. Sure they were nice. But the potential for business was ZERO! And you now have 2 hours less to complete the work that's waiting for you back at your home office or studio.

Here we go again. You met with a prospective client who seemed like a sure thing. But after several nudges from you, they've stopped returning your calls and responding to your emails.

Our wedding planning businesses are filled with moments like these. You can put your best foot forward, keep a smile on your face, wear that outfit that makes you look your best, rock your favorite shoes, read the amazing sale tips shared by Saundra Hadley on her blog, listen to that song that pumps you up . . . you can do all these things and more. The fact remains that there will still be meetings that don't pay off. There will always be business relationships that disappoint and let us down. It can be discouraging, because most of your efforts are geared toward securing new clients. You will only have two outcomes: success or failure. Chances are that you will experience far more failure than success.

However, as a wedding planner, you are in the business of serving. Therefore, you have another mission besides planning beautiful weddings. Your other mission is . . . dun dun dun dunnnnn

TO HELP PEOPLE!

Because this is your other mission, you must come to realize that your time is never wasted. After all, didn't you provide some valuable advice during that networking event? And wasn't that prospective client grateful when you helped them understand the wedding planning process a bit more? Even if they never do business with you, you planted a seed that will hopefully improve their lives in some way. Even if they never do business with you, you have also planted a seed in your own life. You've heard of karma, right? When you do good things, something, somehow, someday will bring a good thing back to you. I like good things, don't you?

So, the next time you're feeling like your activities aren't paying off, consider that you have two missions. As a business person, your mission is to monetize your time. I would never say otherwise! However, as a service provider, your mission is to help people. And while you can't always control the outcome of your first mission, you can always find a way to serve people. As long as you're doing that, your time is never wasted!

Your Wedding Planning Business: Transparency

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Some people tend to Tweet, blog and Facebook their little hearts out. They say it's all about being transparent and transparency is all good. Yes transparency is good . . . but there is also a time when people are too transparent.

Earlier this week, we discussed perception. And it goes to say that if we are dealing with how people perceive us, that perception could also be related to our level of transparency or lack thereof.

WHEN WE AREN'T TRANSPARENT ENOUGH
As a child I used to keep a diary. You know the kind with the little lock on it and the flimsy little key? Yeah I had that one. Because I was a pretty intuitive child, I knew that if someone really wanted to get into my diary that tiny lock would pop open with a little pressure, no problem. And for that reason, I never really wrote in it.  Today I have a journal app on my iPad and strangely enough I actually feel safe with my secrets in there. You can't unlock it without my password. Here I keep all of my ideas and thoughts and prayers to myself. I don't tell a soul.

While this might be okay for my personal life, it is not okay for business. Some people are like dealing with a human vault. No one knows who you really are or what you are really about. When you are overly secretive, it lends itself to the belief that you have something to hide. Why won't you share your pricing on your site? Why did you ignore that complaint about your services? When you make a mistake, why do you gloss over it or never apologize for it?  Lack of transparency in these areas may result in a lost sale, a disgruntled client and loss of respect for you and your wedding planning business.

WHEN WE ARE TOO TRANSPARENT
Or as I like to say . . . when we share TMI {too much information}. Some people open themselves up for the world to see. However, they may also be opening themselves up to a world of trouble. Transparency is being treated like the latest fashion. But it can also be dangerous on many levels. Some dangers are obvious, like being robbed after Tweeting or using FourSquare to announce your whereabouts. Others are less obvious, like being confronted about something you said. Too much transparency can hurt you.

It's true that social media is intended to develop and build relationships, hence the world "social". But just as it is in dating, an important component is the mystique to keep the flame alive. Allow a little room for exploration  and discovery over a period of time instead of right away.

Privacy online is very important because whether you are transparent or not, everything said online is permanent, can be found, and can be easily misinterpreted. Especially when taken out of context.

GOOD TRANSPARENCY THE RIGHT WAY
The key is to know what to reveal and what to keep private. And whatever you do reveal, do it strategically so that what you say is done properly. It's about knowing WHAT to say and HOW to say it. To reveal the right things, in the right way.

Do you need to tweet about your failures? Sometimes . . . yes. But not all of them, and not all of the time. Same thing with your successes. You don't want to give away the store, much less the ammunition to be used against you. Remember there are members of the Hater-ation Nation waiting to take you down and out. Your fans and friends are not the only ones watching you. There are scammers and competitors also watching. And more often than not, they watch you more closely!

Let's not forget to consider the people we care about. Our family, friends, clients, prospects, partners and colleagues are all there as part of your audience. By oversharing, you may give them the impression that you're too open, you won't value their privacy, you can't keep secrets. Further, you are also opening yourself up to abuse.

Going back to perception, there is a difference from appearing transparent and being transparent. Consider these points before taking your personal reflections online:

1. How will this affect my family and friends? Your actions online can potentially affect your family's interests and ultimately, their safety. 
2. What is the best channel for me to share this information? If you have bad news to share, pick up the phone or speak to them in person! Posting family or personal news on Twitter or Facebook is not the best way to communicate to people.
3. What does this information reflect about my professional brand? Each update, post and tweet matters. They collectively affect your image and reputation. If your feeling about a situation or subject is temporary or will pass, you shouldn't share it online.
4. How would I feel if I read one of these insights from one of my mentors? Would it drive you to help them or question their judgment? Put yourself in the shoes of your audience. You really don't know who is reading your tweets, how much you may influence them, how much they admire you and your work. Like I said before, you have NO IDEA who is reading and a bad tweet could actually sabotage an opportunity that you didn't even know was coming your way.

If you are on the fence about a comment or topic, I suggest you don't post it at all. Share your best knowledge instead.

I am in the business of helping you be a better wedding planner. 

Your Wedding Planning Business: Perception

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Last week I ruffled a few feathers. It all started when I made the following comment:

My intention was to bring awareness to how we are perceived online when we associate our Twitter accounts with our business. Unfortunately, this tweet was not well received by a follower or two who felt they should be able to tweet uncensored if they want to. This is actually very true. We can all do whatever it is that we want. However, we are also taking responsibility for our growth or lack thereof in terms of our wedding planning businesses when we tweet expletives and deeply personal things.

But you want to know something? I was just as wrong as the offended party because my tweet was perceived as a direct attack. I can assure you it was not directed toward the offending parties, but was about a completely different Tweeter. However given the response I received, I realized that Tweeting a blanket statement such as the one above left the door open to perception. In this case, someone perceived this to be directly about them when it wasn't. I take ownership of this and sincerely apologize for offending those people and anyone else who took it as a personal attack.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS
How we behave as a business online is exactly how the world sees your business. I am not talking about transparency {which I will get into in the next post}. I totally dig that and often am transparent to you, my readers. I'm talking about TMI {too much information} by way of publicly discussing overly private matters to your listening audience.

I'm talking about perception, people. Perception is a powerful tool. When you don't manage the perceptions someone has of you, it can quickly turn into unintended reality. Without fail, there is always a gap between self-perception and how others perceive you. It happens all day every day. Within seconds, everyone you come in contact with throughout your day subconsciously perceives you on a multitude of levels. That perception is that you are: honest, confident, friendly, interesting, insecure, hostile, boring or dishonest to name a few.  And let's be real...most people are only willing to share their true honest opinion about us to OTHER PEOPLE.

Don't believe it? Then answer this question: When is the last time you told someone about a certain characteristic that he/she possessed that made you perceive him or her negatively. Perhaps they talk incessantly. Or they didn't bother to look you in the eyes. Or maybe they are snarky or always negative online. If you are taking these things into account when you decide how you perceive someone else, don't you think the same is also being done to you? Perhaps you don't care. But if you do...read on.

From the moment a person meets you, in person or virtually, they observe your mannerisms, form their opinion and neglect to mention their perception to the one person it would benefit the most, you! However, they will have no problem sharing their negative perception with everyone else they encounter. It's the rare client that will look you in the eye and say "Are you ever going to stop talking and listen to me?"  Instead they will allow you to drone on until frustration sets in and they would rather be hit by a bus then do business with you.

Now...how fast do you think that word will spread?

That's right. It'll spread like wildfire. You have very quickly become the topic of conversation. So how do you control the perception instead of allowing the perception to control you?

DEVELOP A POSITIONING STATEMENT
A positioning statement basically states how you want the world to perceive you and your business. It's not always how the world or your clients see you today - it is what you are striving for. It should be the core message you want to deliver in every marketing medium - including your ride on the elevator, sitting in the waiting room and at the soccer field with your kids - to influence or to enhance your services.

There are seven key questions to ask when building your positioning statement:

1. WHO: Who are you?
2. WHAT: What business are you in?
3. FOR WHOM: What people do you serve?
4. WHAT NEED: What are the special needs of the people you serve?
5. AGAINST WHOM: Against whom are you competing?
6. WHAT'S DIFFERENT: What makes you different from those competitors?
7. SO: What unique benefit does a client derive from your service?

Need an example? Since I like to shop and I love Bloomingdale's, let's look at their positioning statement because it has held true and strong for so many years:

Bloomingsdale's {who} are fashion-focused department stores {what} for trend-conscious, upper-middle class shoppers {for whom} looking for high-end products {what need}. Unlike other department stores {against whom}, Bloomingdale's provides unique merchandise in a theatrical setting {what's different} that makes shopping entertaining {so}.

And this is exactly why I love shopping there. They focus on the entertainment of shopping {which is part of the reason I shop anywhere in the first place} and they sell clothes that are ready-to-wear {not runway}, and they don't sell cheap stuff that will fall apart when I wash them {Wal-mart}. 

ON A SIDE NOTE: no offense to Wal-Mart shoppers. I shop there for certain things. However when it comes to clothing, I believe in making investments in classic and/or beautifully made items that will last for years to come. Otherwise, for me it's a waste of my money.

Ask yourself these seven questions. Don't be overzealous. Really think about the way your clients and prospective vendors perceive you. Think about how you want to be perceived. Then close the gap. 

P.S. I am also working on a positioning statement because it is so important to me that Backstage Bridal is perceived for what we truly stand for: Helping you become the best wedding planner you can be. 

Backstage Bridal Announces Hashtag

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Just a quick post to announce our official hashtag. That's right! Backstage Bridal has joined the masses by registering a hashtag for Tweets related to our upcoming event.

#BBPro

Just like this post, the hashtag is short and sweet. Be sure to use it when tweeting about Backstage Bridal Pro Academy so that we can follow along and answer your questions accordingly!

Today marks the 30-day countdown to the formal announcement and opening of registration for Backstage Bridal Pro Academy. You will want to follow us on Twitter and Facebook because we will be giving away some amazing things to our registered students!

Can't wait to help you become better wedding planners!

Being A Better Wedding Planner: Confidence

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con·fi·dent
adjective /ˈkänfədənt/

1. having strong belief or full assurance; sure: confident of fulfillment.
2. sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one's own abilities, correctness, successfulness, etc.; self-confident; bold: a confident speaker.
3. excessively bold; presumptuous.
4. Obsolete; trustful or confiding

HOLD THE PHONE!! Did that just say FULL of assurance and NO uncertainty? Speaking for myself, I know I FAIL big time having no uncertainty and being full of assurance. And then to say a confident person is obsolete? What in the world is that supposed to mean? Who made this stuff up? Somebody named Webster, I assume since the book is called Webster's Dictionary. He is responsible for the content, right?

Most days I walk around feeling like I am a fairly confident woman. However, according to Webster, it seems I am missing the mark. BIG TIME! Dang...just when you thought you had something down pat... I swear if I ever meet Webster we are going to have a lonnnng talk.

My point is this...PLEASE stop defining yourself by what others say you are. Stop measuring yourself by the standard of someone else. If you are looking for a confident woman simply take a look around you. I am sure we have all encountered, even loved a woman of confidence. If you find your personal circle lacking a confident woman, I say first find a new circle honey because that is not a good look. Secondly, look at Oprah and Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters and Madame C.J. Walker and Eleanor Roosevelt and Hilary Clinton and many more. These are all shining examples of confident women. They wouldn't have reached the levels they did without confidence.

MY DEFINITION OF A CONFIDENT WOMAN
This world is filled with women of confidence. These women are not perfect. They have all had their share of difficulties and challenges. They have all been unsure at times. But they all follow their hearts, encourage others, and radiate strength. A confident woman is a beautiful thing. It does more for her appearance than the best designer clothing, expensive makeup or incredible haircut. She could be dressed in clothing from the thrift store but will be absolutely gorgeous. A confident woman is not afraid to be herself. She knows who she is. She understands her purpose and her gifts. She knows that there are certain things only she can contribute to this world, in this time and in this place.

We ALL have gifts inside of us that allow us to fulfill our purpose. And it is when you are fulfilling purpose that you feel confident. You can contribute to the world and feel good about it. You will wake up knowing what you are to do and be excited to do it. Your confidence is deeply rooted in your self-esteem, knowing that you are valuable. Because you are! Confidence is not loud or boastful. Instead it's quiet, gentle and always humble. And it is inevitably powerful.

I know some of you might be thinking what does this have to do with my wedding planning business? I'll tell you what. The success of your business is directly related to how you feel, your limitations, your ability to dream big, let go of fear. You cannot grow your business to be a BIG DEAL if you do not have any level of confidence about it.

Recently on Twitter someone asked me how to grow your wedding planning business while dealing with the competition and also become THE great planner. This Tweet alone oozes with a lack of confidence. It won't happen until you say it and believe it. It starts with you. Starts with being confident, having a good self-esteem, the ability to speak abundance and believe in it. There are many other factors involved...of course. But nothing great becomes great from a broken system that doesn't even believe in itself. You can't expect your brides to believe you are the GREAT planner when you don't even believe you really are.

Now I am certainly not saying you will feel confident all of the time. The truth is you won't. I don't. No one does. I falter in my confidence all of the time. The key is to unleash the confidence in your process. We can do this!  What are some confidence issues you face? Thinking you need someone to coach you along the way to help you build your confidence up? No worries...I am in the business of helping YOU be an amazing wedding planner. To become the planner you've always dreamed of being. That is why Backstage Bridal Pro Academy was created and we have a professor on our faculty who will be there to help you become a confident saleswoman! 

Refined vs. Whole Grain - which one defines you?

Looking at this blog post title, you might be wondering what in the world bread has to do with your wedding planning business. This all started when I was in Whole Foods looking for briohe rolls for the hamburgers I wanted to grill. There I spotted a interesting variety of breads. Some were enriched and some were whole grains. Now this had nothing at all to do with the brioche buns I was in there to purchase but for some odd reason {or maybe not odd at all. Perhaps it was meant to be} I noticed it and began to wonder what the difference was.

I went home and looked it up. This is what I found on Web Dietician:

"Is there a difference? In fact, enriched grains are, in deed, inferior to whole grains. Refined carbohydrates like regular pasta, white bread, most crackers and breakfast bars lose approximately half of 23 nutrients through the refining process."

WOW! Did you see that? So flour and other grains lose 1/2 of its nutrients when it is refined. This is why whole grain is important. I don't know about you but I do not want my body to give out on me for quite a while. Therefore, it's so important to me that I get as many of those awesome whole grains as possible. These carbs are good for supplying energy to working muscles (yep, I need that as much as I go, go, go!). They provide fuel for the brain (mmm-hmm need brain power as well because I have many amazing things going on). Without enough carbs your body puts an incredible amount of stress causing a condition called ketosis. You can also suffer from dizziness, weakness and low blood sugar. This is no bueno.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?

Let's think about this in terms of your wedding planning business. Are you whole grain or are you refined? Refined sounds so fancy, doesn't it. But I would much rather be wholesome and basic whole grain because my clients deserve to get the true me. Not a watered down version of me. Wouldn't you rather be all that you can be to yourself, your wedding planning business and your clients?

If you are spending your time looking at how other wedding planners do business and you are trying to follow their models, their pricing structures, their package offerings, their everything...then you are not being authentic and you are attracting brides who are not your true target market. You are refined...and giving them 1/2 of what you can truly give them. This will eventually wear you out (because it's hard work trying to keep up with and be like your competition) and you will grow weary with your clients (because these ladies chose you because of who they thought you were but it's not really who you are and what they expect is so outside of what is true for you). Just think about that for a minute.

BE UNIQUELY YOU

If you are struggling with differentiation you are certainly not alone. You may not like to hear this, but the reality is there are thousands of wedding planners who do what you do in your region. YOUR REGION! And you are all fighting for the same slice of the pie.

This means if you want to get the attention of your ideal client, and get it fast,  you've got to set yourself apart. You have to offer something no one can compete on. You have to be your whole-grain self.

As long as you remain refined you are in the market with many similar versions of "you". Meaning there are lots of "you's" to choose from and "you" all offer a similar thing. This is how you end up getting into a price war with the competition. You end up losing a lot of money and a lot of business will go to Suzy Q down the road who actually does offer something unique and different.

• Stop focusing on selling what you do! Let's be real for a minute. How many other planners offer the same thing you do? The bride is not going to hire you based on your service offerings when 100s of other planners offer the same thing. When I shop and everything looks the same, I generally go with the cheapest one because I am all about saving money. However, I also am the type of person who will spend more if there is more...better quality, something that makes it unique.
• If you're answer to what makes you different is that you hold a certification or a particular association, you are not whole grain! Big deal!!! Who cares? Many other planners hold the same certification or belong to the same associations. And more importantly, brides certainly do not care. I have a certification and I have yet to have a client ask me if I have it or ask to see it. They did not hire me for my certification. All they care about is what you can do for them and whether they click with you.
• OK, so you love what you do...so what??? I haven't met a wedding planner yet who says, "I hate my job." We all love what we do. This does not make you different. This is not what makes you whole grain. Sorry...
• But I've been in business a long time! I am a veteran. Child please, I know planners that have been around for 2 years that are doing the daggone thing. It has nothing to do with years of experience.

Being whole grain is not about loving what you do, being certified or what your services are. And it's not about how long you've been in business. If this is what you are focused on, you have a lot to learn and a long road to travel in booking the brides that are perfect for you.

I can't give you the magic formula on what is going to help you be whole grain. It requires hard work, digging deep and spending more time with you and less time on social media following other wedding planners. But I will tell you this...the best way to succeed and be happy with your wedding planning business and the clients you book is to be your real, authentic whole grain self.

I know what you feel like. I have been there...trying to see what others were doing. Following their example. Stressed and frustrated at the way my business was growing and not growing. Sick and tired of not meeting the right kind of bride. I would love to share my story with you... how I finally differentiated myself. How I let my fears go and broke the barriers that were holding me back. Join me at Backstage Bridal Pro Academy and I will tell you all about it in my reveal all, transparent session. 

Your Wedding Planning Business: To Worry or Not To Worry

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My name is Tami and I am a recovering worrier. It was a horrible habit that I once had. I spent my days worrying about various things - my finances, my relationships, my work,  my self-image, my expectations, my fears, my failures. I never gave any consideration to the law of attraction. You know the one that says you attract into your life whatever you think about... yeah that one. Here I was worrying and thinking about negative things and then I have the audacity to question why nothing good was happening to me! DUH!

Given the climate of our current economy, it is so easy to do. To worry about the deficit and how this will impact you. Perhaps you have been affected to a degree by the recession. But think about it...we aren't going into a recession. We are already there! You need to simply ride it out. What goes up must come down and vice versus. There is no reason to consume yourselves with worrying about every little thing. It's unhealthy and it's not conducive to your growth or outlook.

So let me ask you...what have you been thinking about today?

It's a startling question, isn't it?

Where have your thoughts been wandering off to? What type of energy (negative or positive) have you been directing and where have you been directing it? What have you been obsessing over? You, if no one else, knows what has been grabbing your attention in the deepest places of your mind. How much of that is uplifting, positive, visionary, hopeful, joyful, excitement or optimistic ?

How much of your mental energy is spent on the belief in your success? How confident are you that you will attain what you desire? Do you wonder about the beauty in the world around you? Do you have any gratitude for the blessings and abundance that you have been given, regardless of what that is?

I CAUGHT YOU! I know that I did. You wasted your beautiful, amazing, powerful, remarkable energy of the wrong stuff, didn't you?  Uh-huh! I knew it!

So how do we get from unconsciously thinking about negative, uninspiring thoughts that limit growth to placing our thoughts and energies on those things that will initiate expansion, growth and elevation?

• DEVELOP A REMINDER SYSTEM: I have no idea what this might be for you or what works best for you. Put phrases on post-it notes on your mirror, front door, refrigerator and closet. Set reminders on your computer and cell phone. Ask yourself, "What are you thinking about right now?"
• FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER: Find someone that will check you when you begin to think or speak negatively. Ask them to remind you to release your fears and stay focused.
• OPERATE IN A MINDSET OF INCREASE: This is a must! Every single time you handle money, your debit card or your checkbook, remind yourself what a blessing it is to have the means to support yourself and take care of the things you need to take care of and how you see your money increasing.
• LISTEN TO POSITIVE MESSAGES: Be selective about what you watch, the music you listen to and the speeches or conversations you hear. Be sure that the messages you hear and see are positive and inspiring.
• JOURNAL DAILY: This is the place to direct your negative thoughts. However, place a positive counter thought directly on top of it. Do this throughout the day until your positive thoughts outweigh the negative ones. Soon your journal will be filled with positive affirmations.

Your thoughts and your energy are precious commodities. You deserve to surround yourself with words and thoughts that do not lower your quality of life the way worrying does. Put your energy to good use. Your life, your family and your wedding planning business will thank you.

The Hater-ation Nation

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There are some people who just don't need to have access to your life. We all know the types: Debbie Downer, Lucy Leech, Minnie the Mooch, Gabby Guilt, Chatty O'Patty and Sally Sabotage. These people find a way to bring you down, take from you and bring all levels of negativity into your space that you don't need. These people are all part of the Hater-ation Nation. But there is one other resident that I personally feel is the most destructive of them all... Helluva Hater. Ms. Hater if you will.

Ms. Hater is the one that faux-friends you. Calls you for advice and reels you in making you think you are part of her circle. She talks about her problems and listens to yours. She asks for advice and vents about her frustrations. She calls to tell you all about the person on Twitter who hurt her feelings and she doesn't understand because she is only working hard to make everyone happy and she doesn't deserve it and she just doesn't know what to do and she is glad you spoke to her and she feels better because you are such a sweetie and you know "I will do ANYTHING for you. You know that right?".

And then she asks you what is new with you and because she hung her dirty laundry up in your yard, you feel that maybe...just maybe you can actually share with her. I mean you have some dirt on her that could potentially be used as ammunition should you need it but you aren't like that and would never do that, I'm just sayin... So you open up and you share your secret or your personal issue or your whatever with Helluva Hater because she is apparently a good friend and sees you as so and you can trust her and she has never seemingly done anything to anyone that you know of she is just the innocent victim of attacks and the misunderstood genius that only you and maybe a handful of people get anyhow. Are you following me? 

So you share... you share a little, you share a lot but you share. Sharing is caring, right?  Well, Ms. Hater hangs up and you feel like you did a good thing because you were a good friend and perhaps you bonded with her and your friendship is just a little bit closer because you both shared and you go about your day and the world is a beautiful place.

But what you don't know, is that she secretly is jealous of the wonderful things you just shared with her. She doesn't show this, but inside she is saying things like "Why is that happening for her and not for me?" "What qualifies her for this level of growth?" "She isn't smart enough/connected enough/experienced enough to get very far." "How much do you want a bet she fails within a matter of months." 

Do you know what she does next? She picks up the phone to call another "faux-friend"/victim just like you who is completely unsuspecting and she tells them "OMG guess what so and so just told me she is doing? She is stupid, she is annoying, she is this, that and the other thing." She spins the story to appear as the victim once again. Poor Helluva. The world is against her and she doesn't understand why because she never does a bad thing to anyone... right?

She is dangerous... like for real! She is dangerous because she has the ability to get close to you and cause you damage without you even knowing it. She is the most destructive of all the residents of the Hater-ation Nation. She will make you miserable either directly or indirectly. She has a smile on her face and in her voice, but she is actually a jealous chick who is angry with the universe for not lining up just so for her and everytime you succeed she hates you just that much more. She will try to undermine everything that you do. She is a maneater! She will chew you up and spit you out just for the joy of doing. Perhaps it gives her a temporary sense of "bigness". She pooh poohs on the lowly peasants and yet feels miserable inside. Eventually her energy takes life and it seeps into your pores and into your being and into your spirit and your family is affected and your business is affected and you are standing there wondering what the EFF just happened to you!

Her reason for being Ms. Hater can be varied and can be a mulitude of things that stem from WAY back before you were even in her life. It's doesn't matter... at the end of the day she is toxic and you need to tell her BUH-BYE!

You can do something about this and it's quite simple.

• STOP thinking everyone is your friend because they are not. There is a difference between friends and someone being friendly. Please educate yourself on the difference because not knowing the difference can actually bring pain to your life.
• DON'T ARGUE with haters. There is no point. They will NEVER hear you out and all you are doing is giving them power and energy that they don't deserve to have and that they will use to control and manipulate you.
• PURGE PURGE PURGE! Get rid of anyone that is not supportive, adding positivity to your life or providing you an encouraging word.
• UNDERSTAND you are dealing with a hater. Once you know what someone is about, you also know what to expect and how to deal with them. I won't go as far as saying ignore them because that's not always easy to do. Especially when the hater is a family member or shares the same circle of friends as you do. Instead I say be savvy. Find ways to say hello and keep it moving. Change the subject when they ask you what you are into or better yet...excuse yourself. You are not required to engage in conversation with a hater. Doing so is purely by choice.
• FOCUS! Stop spending your time trying to rally people around your vision. Focus on the tasks you need to conquer to get from A to B. Focus on your goals and work with those that need to be a part of your project or business venture. Nothing pleases a hater more than to see you fail. Do not let them throw you off your game.

Like the little video below, you need to simply realize that haters are going to hate. Hold your head up, put one foot in front of the other and keep walking with pride.

I am in the business of helping YOU be an amazing wedding planner. To become the planner you've always dreamed of being. That is why Backstage Bridal Pro Academy was created! 

Your Wedding Planning Business: Sales Objections

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On Tuesday we talked a bit about the challenges I faced when learning about conducting wedding rehearsals. Today let's chat about sales. I don't know about you, but I can't stand sales! I love brides, weddings and pretty things but sales...um not so much. However, it is a necessary part of our businesses. Without it we have no work. Had I been able to avoid it, I would have...that is until a few years ago when I met this amazing sales guru who also happens to be a wedding planner. She blows me away and still 3 years later I aspire to be her.

Now if you are closing every sale, please don't bother to read further. This post is not for you. But if you are like me and you have issues with selling and overcoming objections, by all means...read on because I am writing this just for you!

Did you know that whether you plan weddings, talk on the phone, participate in social media, even grocery shop...you are selling? You are! No matter what, everytime you leave the house, take a call or get online you are selling yourself, your company or your services. You can't get around it so you might as well embrace it like I did. After awhile it no longer feels prickly...or maybe I just got used to the prickles. Either way, you can't avoid your inner saleswoman. She is there so you can pretend all you want to that you don't sell or that you are no good at selling but the truth of the matter is, you are selling whether you like it or not. How it's fattening your bank account or not is the real matter at hand.

I don't know about you, but I would rather increase my bottom line because the fact is you NEED to sell if you plan to make money.

I learned a few things from this sales guru.  She is a good friend of mine and the most awesome sales woman in the wedding world that I know. Although, I can't reveal her name quite yet, I will tell you she is FREAKING AWESOME!  Seriously. And here are some things I have gleaned from basking in her glorious light...

1. Don't negotiate your price down! My kids like to eat. They can't very well get by chewing on shoe leather, now can they? Therefore, I charge what I am worth so that I can pay my bills and keep this shop up and running. You need to do the same.
2. Be prepared for sales objections! Practice what you might say. Quiet hesitations and outright no's are both objections. You need to be ready to gently address this and persuade the client why you are what she is looking for. Appeal to her needs first and she will appreciate your attentiveness.
3. Demonstrate your commitment to the client by listening! Heading off sales objections shows your confidence but also let's the client know you are truly invested in assisting her. However, it means very little if you are talking more than you are listening.
4. Create options and have them ready during your call or meeting. Have a few options at different price points that still offer value to the client. Be realistic with her. Even if she is still hesitant, your honesty is appreciated and could very well be refreshing to her.
5. No doesn't always mean "no"...it sometimes means "not right now". I know, I know. We are taught that when a girl says no she means no. But let's be real...sometimes that doesn't apply because we are fickle creatures and we often change our mind when we're in the mood to do so, right?  OK, well, maybe it's just me.

All I'm saying is that we are always selling. How you dress, how you talk, how you appear in social media and when you meet people. The lady behind the counter at the dry cleaners, the person standing in line with you at the movies...even the guy who is trying to sell you a car...you are also selling to them. You might as well be the best seller you can be.

What are some sales fears you have? How do you currently handle sales objections? Still not sure what to do? No worries...I am in the business of helping YOU be an amazing wedding planner. To become the planner you've always dreamed of being. That is why Backstage Bridal Pro Academy was created and we have a professor on our faculty who will be there to help you become a confident saleswoman!

The Trials of Conducting Wedding Rehearsals

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There are a few things that I don't like to do...sales is one, although I can't get around it (post coming up on Thursday) and the other is conducting wedding rehearsals. It's not that I am incapable. I just prefer not to do them, but alas...I am a planner and this is part of my job.

I remember when I first started out in wedding planning. I had no one to shadow. I didn't have an internship and I didn't start out with a mentor. I was so nervous. I had to basically wing it and it was tough!  It was one thing to plan the wedding from my home office. Sending emails, placing phone calls and researching design on the Internet was a breeze! I was having a great time. Meeting with the bride and groom, even the family was easy to me. But when it was showtime, I was a wreck.

Sure I had my wedding planning certification, but what did it really teach me about conducting a rehearsal? Not much past a few diagrams of the processional and recessional, depicting where everyone should stand. Oh, and there were also a few worksheets that explained the role of each of the bridal party members.  WHAT A JOKE!

None of what was taught to me on paper prepared me for actually being in the spotlight and the expectations that arise from being the one to conduct the rehearsal. As the wedding planner, you are the authority. Everyone is looking for answers from you. You are who needs to direct them as to where to stand, how to walk, the order of things. It is no longer just you, the bride and groom. It is the bridal party, the siblings, the parents, the little 3 year old ringbearer and flower girl who were told not to talk to strangers (YOU ARE A STRANGER!). It is daunting and overwhelming.  These people don't realize that your certification is limited. That it doesn't provide you with real hands on experience. You are the wedding planner. You are supposed to know these things.

Fortunately for me, my first few weddings didn't require me to lead a rehearsal. There was always an officiant on deck who took the reins. This allowed me to observe second hand how things should happen. I was there to support my couple, to meet the bridal party and let everyone know what time they needed to be where on wedding day.  I gave everyone my cell and my email and everyone was happy.  HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

Then I booked a couple who opted not to pay their officiant the extra money he was charging to conduct rehearsal. It was my turn. EEK! Super scary, let me tell you! It was like being the lamb tossed into the lion cage. The lions were people who actually liked me but one wrong move and I would begin to look pretty darn tasty to the hungry lions.

Where was everyone supposed to stand? Where do the groom and groomsmen enter? What order do the bridesmaids come down the aisle? What music is played for each part of the processional? In what order does everyone walk out during the recessional? Who is responsible to get the bridal party lined up? Where do the parents, step-parents and grandparents sit during the ceremony? And if it's a cultural wedding with any type of rituals infused that you are unfamilair with...watch out!

Another issue I had to consider was how to deal with conflict at the wedding rehearsal. You are dealing with multiple personality types. There are those who are so busy having a good time that they don't listen. Perhaps they had a few drinks beforehand. There are those on their cell phones. They are texting and Facebooking and Tweeting. They are having mini reunions. They are laughing and chatting and NOT PAYING ATTENTION! Oh and there is one more personality that I must tell you about. He or she is at every single wedding. It's the "wedding planner" personality. They've been to lots of weddings, been in lots of weddings and this makes them an authority and they will tell you what they think you should be doing. If you are not in control and you seem less than confident, the least bit timid or unsure, the bridal party will be frustrated and someone will feel it is their job to swoop in and "save the day".

The first time I conducted a rehearsal alone, I felt as if I were drowning. I was so flustered. I tried to appear cool as a cucumber on the outside but on the inside I was so upset. Upset that I didn't know more, that I didn't have help and that the rehearsal took nearly 3 hours! At the end, the bridal party was still a bit confused and so was I. Confused about why my certification course didn't teach me this or prepare me in the least bit for the real life rehearsal? How come no one warned me? I seriously wished I had just paid the officiant myself!

A few more wedding rehearsals like this and I finally got a system. I learned who to listen to and who not to listen to. I had a system down pat. And I made it. But this was nearly a deal breaker for me. And to this day, I still prefer not to conduct the rehearsal but at least now I dont have to stumble through.

I know I am not alone. If you have never conducted a rehearsal, what fears do you have? What concerns you? If you have experience, please share your stories with us. It is only through sharing that we lift one another up to create a solid community of wedding planners. 

What's that? You need a little help? No worries...I am in the business of helping YOU be an amazing wedding planner. To become the planner you've always dreamed of being. That is why Backstage Bridal Pro Academy was created and we have a professor on our faculty who will be there to guide you in conducting rehearsals the right way! STAY TUNED AT THE END OF SUMMER WHEN WE MAKE OUR FORMAL ANNOUCEMENT!